I have a love/hate relationship with running.
I love burning calories.
I literally hate everything else involved with running.
4 years ago, I trained for a 5k. At that point in time I was running 3 miles, 3 times a week. I did it because it felt like what I should do, I lost a ton of weight, and I will admit I felt much better. But, I don't even remember liking it then.
So fast forward to now, because of the pregnancy and birth of the Toddler Tornado, and a whole lot of stress eating, I've got weight to lose again. I also have a super peppy- health coach friend who is a runner and keeps finding all these fun races for us to do. And if there is one thing I love, it's a reason to wear a tutu. Running it is.
First, I decided that I used to be able to run 3 miles easy... I would just pick up where I left off. That was a hilarious experience. Barely made it a mile, and discovered quickly exactly what plantar faciitis is.
I decided to use a C25K training app like I did last time. The only difference was, instead of running outside, I was going to do it on a treadmill. This Ohio winter was miserable, I don't do cold.
Today, I began 5 minute runs with 2 and a half minute walks in between. If I was outside, I probably would have jogged the 5 minutes at like an 11:30 pace... but being on a treadmill, I cranked it to 10 minute pace and forced myself to keep up.
It went really well for the first 90 seconds... It was down hill from there.
I started doing anything I could to keep my mind from allowing me to quit. The last two minutes of the first half mile run, I counted backwards from 120. It distracted me a little, but I was pissed to be running.
The second half mile began with the genius idea to block anything that showed time so I wouldn't be so fixated on how much longer I would be doing this. That lasted about 45 seconds. I couldn't take it. I went back to my counting.
The last half mile, I was desperate. I cannot be alone with my brain, and that's where I was. Alone with my brain and doing something I hate.
At this point, I thought "this run was going to kill me", and with that thought, my sick twisted brain had found something to think about to make it through. Could a treadmill kill someone? I mean not from them having a heart attack or something... but from the actual treadmill. And that's what I thought about, for the rest of the run. Funniest scenario involves the guy who wears jorts to the gym (there are a couple, I promise) having a string unravel from his ridiculous work out gear, wrapping around the motor of the treadmill and the treadmill bursting in flames.
The point of this rambling is- it was hard, I hated it, but I finished. The human mind is an amazing thing, but your brain can give out on you far before your body does in a workout. Your body is capable of things your brain "knows" you can't do. Feats of "Superhuman strength" when people lift 3000 lb cars off of children occur because people stop thinking and act.
You are capable of far more than you can imagine. Just do it, even if you have to distract yourself by making up death scenarios at the gym. Don't let your brain hold you back.
You are amazing.